


She Is We

by bearpantaloons



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, I don't know what I'm doing with my life, I'm so sorry, This is the crackiest of crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-28
Updated: 2017-04-28
Packaged: 2018-10-25 01:14:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10753674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bearpantaloons/pseuds/bearpantaloons
Summary: Have you ever had a fight with yourself? Kara and Supergirl duke it out for Lena Luthor's affection.





	She Is We

Lena Luthor stares out of her office window; the sun is beginning to set, filling the sky with hues of reds and oranges. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees a different shade of red coming toward her. Supergirl is gliding around and lands on Lena’s balcony that always just happens to show up whenever the she’s around.

“Thank you for coming,” Lena says with her voice like warm butter.

“You know, I’m not used to being summoned by one person so much,” Supergirl answers, with her hands on her hips – the superhero pose of choice.

“Right, I’m sorry, but this is important. It’s actually a matter of life and death, for once,” Lena replies with desperation. “My company is throwing a big party next week to commemorate me being CEO of the Year and I don’t have a plus one to bring. Do you know how bad it would look if the CEO went alone to her own celebration? I’d be the laughing stock of the next board meeting. People would start calling me Lonely Lena. I can’t have that!”

Supergirl’s arms fall to her sides and she straightens out her cape, tugging at a loose thread. Since when did her cape have thread?

“Um, I see. I’m not quite sure what you’re asking, Lena.”

“I need a date, Supergirl. I realize this isn’t one of your job requirements, but I honestly didn’t know who else to ask.

“Actually, I just added matchmaker to my business cards: ‘Superhero, champion of justice, matchmaker,’” Supergirl laughs nervously, trying to push up the rim of her glasses that she isn’t wearing. “Okay, well, I can definitely ask around. I’m sure there are hundreds of eligible bachelors just in this block alone.”

“What about Kara Danvers?” Lena asks.

_Seriously?_

Supergirl sputters. “K-Kara Danvers? I, um… why would you, er… what?”

“Just think about it,” Lena continues. “She’s an up and coming reporter, knows her way around the city, knows who’s who. She’s perfect! It would be really nice to have a friend there.”

A friend? _A friend?_ Supergirl is friendship material! Kara is a boring human.

“Uh-huh,” Supergirl replies. “I guess I can see if she’s available.” Is she actually getting jealous of… herself? Supergirl is way more famous and she knows the same amount of people in National City! Heck, she caught Lena after she jumped off of a balcony, for Pete’s sake! What gives?

“Oh, would you? That would be wonderful. It’s next Friday and tell her it’s formalwear, so she’ll need to find a dress. If she can’t find one in time, I can have one picked up for her and send someone to her apartment to assist. I can’t thank you enough, Supergirl.”

Supergirl mutters something under her breath that sounds a lot like “Kara Schmara” and takes off from the balcony.

“I don’t understand what Kara has that I don’t,” Supergirl says to herself, “other than glasses and the fashion sense of a hipster grandma.” As she’s flying between buildings, she hears a scream below her. She looks down to see a woman being mugged by a rugged looking man in a black jacket and a ski mask. He’s holding a switchblade in one hand and the woman’s purse in the other. Supergirl descends upon the robber and gives him a not-so-gentle nudge into some trashcans in an alley. She hands the purse back to the woman, who looks visibly shaken.

“Do you think I need to do something with my hair?” Supergirl asks the woman. “Maybe I should change my wardrobe. I bet Lena likes pastels more.”

The woman doesn’t answer any of Supergirl’s rhetorical questions and runs in the opposite direction. The robber slowly gets up and lunges at Supergirl, who quickly dodges the attack and knocks him down again. “Lena never wears pastels, though. I’ve only seen her in dark, bold, colors.”

Supergirl sighs and flies off. She heads toward the DEO and sees Winn working at one of the consoles. “Winn, I need some advice. Lena wants to take Kara to a party next week and I don’t understand why she won’t take Supergirl. I have plenty of qualifications to be someone’s date. I’m well-known by the city, I can protect her from danger that lurks around at night, and I’m pretty, too, gosh darn it.”

Winn looks up with half a sandwich still shoved inside his mouth. He finishes his bite and wipes the crumbs off with a napkin.

“Um, wait, okay, let me get this straight. You’re upset that Lena is taking Kara and not… you?”

“Yes!” Supergirl exclaims, throwing her hands in the air. “Why is that so hard to understand?”

“Also, isn’t Kara dating Mon-El, er, Mike?”

“I don’t know who that is.”

Winn rubs his chin inquisitively and blinks a few times. “Supergirl, you do realize that you’re the same—“

“Winn, now is not the time for semantics. I need you to bug Lena’s home and office to see what she sees in Kara.”

Just as Winn is about to protest and tell Supergirl, er, Kara... whatever, that she’s acting really strange, J’onn J’onzz walks into the room with Kara’s sister, Alex.

“What’s going on, Supergirl? Is there a threat that we need to be aware of?” J’onn asks.

“Yes, there’s a threat,” Supergirl exclaims. “Kara Danvers is a threat to Supergirl.”

J’onn and Alex look at Winn, who shrugs his shoulders. Alex circles around Supergirl, slowly, making sure there are no sudden movements. This thing can’t be her sister.

“Why, exactly, is Kara a threat to… you?” she asks this Supergirl impersonator.

Supergirl rolls her eyes. “Because,” she starts, “Lena Luthor would rather take Kara to a stupid party instead of me. Me! Supergirl!” She waves her hands in the air more and Winn is convinced she’s going to create a tornado right there in front of them.

“Okay…” Alex replies. “Well, why don’t you, I don’t know, try to appeal to Lena as Supergirl?”

Winn takes a cautious step forward. “Yeah, that’s a great idea. Show Lena how great Supergirl is. Woo her.”

J’onn shakes his head and walks away, in search of actual threats to humanity.

“That’s a perfect idea, Winn. Thank you!”

As Supergirl runs out of the building, Alex continues to try and process what just happened. “She does know that she is K—“ Winn waves his hand to interrupt Alex. “Already tried.”

* * *

 

The next day, Supergirl searches all over National City (actually, within a two block radius of LutherCorp) for people in need. A young teenager pickpockets a man in a business suit and Supergirl catches him, makes him apologize, and gives the wallet back to the man. She looks up at Lena’s office to see if she noticed, but there’s no one there. Then, she finds a kitten stuck in a tree and flies up to Lena’s office window to show her, but there’s still no one in the office. Supergirl walks through the front door of LutherCorp, because only savages use balcony doors unannounced.

She walks up to the receptionist’s desk and asks for Lena.

“Ms. Luthor is going to be in meetings all day, I’m afraid.”

“But I got her this kitten,” Supergirl says, holding up the fuzzy tabby.

The receptionist shifts her eyes from her computer monitor and takes one look at the kitten; she wonders what aliens drink and if Supergirl is currently drunk.

“I’m sorry, miss, but you’ll have to come back later and give Ms. Luthor the tiny feline then.”

Supergirl sighs and leaves the building. Operation: Woo Lena is turning out to be more difficult than she had anticipated. She flies back to the DEO and places the kitten on Winn’s desk.

“I need you to take care of that for me.” “What? I’m not taking care of that. I’m allergic!” Winn responds, but Supergirl is already gone. He stares at the ball of allergens on his desk and sneezes.

Supergirl decides to take her plan to the next level. Phase 2. Second Act. She has to find out what Lena enjoys doing outside of the office, but she’s only seen Lena inside of LuthorCorp or inside Kara’s apartment. So, what she’s gathered so far is that Lena enjoys doing work until the late hours of the night and must like Kara’s interior decorations.

Just then, a lightbulb goes off. Supergirl decides to buy, and assemble, a new bookshelf for Lena. She purchases a dark mahogany bookshelf and realizes that she doesn’t know where Lena lives and, while she could totally find out, she wasn’t a creepy stalker.

She takes the bookshelf back to apartment to start putting it together. After hours of attempting to follow directions that weren’t in English or Kryptonian, Supergirl is not having any success in assembling the bookshelf. Random planks of wood are broken in half and if Supergirl’s skin wasn’t impenetrable, she’s sure she would have had at least a thousand splinters by now. She sighs from both frustration and exhaustion and leaves her apartment. As she walks past an ice cream parlor, another light bulb goes off. All humans love ice cream – Kara obviously does – so, surely, Lena would love it, too. She orders two cones with two scoops of vanilla and takes off. She lands on her favorite balcony and taps on Lena’s office window. It appears she’s finally done with her meeting marathon and gets out of her office chair to open the door.

“Supergirl, I wasn’t expecting you,” Lena says with her voice like silky honey.

“Oh, you know, I was in the neighborhood and passed an ice cream shop and thought to myself, ‘Hey, it’s warm today. It’s perfect ice cream weather.’”

It was the middle of January.

Kara offers one of the ice cream cones to Lena, who curiously takes it. “Well, thanks,” Lena says as she takes a lick of ice cream.

Kara can’t take her eyes off of Lena’s mouth. How dare she wear that red lipstick that matches her complexion perfectly?

Like, honestly.

“I bet Kara’s never brought you ice cream before,” she says as she takes a lick of her own ice cream.

“Actually, no one’s ever brought me ice cream before,” Lena answers and smiles when she sees Supergirl grin proudly as she takes a bite of her cone. “Kara bought me flowers once or twice, though.”

“Oh.”

“They were really beautiful.”

“I bet they had aphids.”

Lena laughs and shakes her head. She walks over to grab a napkin and dabs the corners of her mouth. She watches Supergirl finish her cone; the ice cream had dripped down her hand and onto the sleeve of her super suit. Instead of using a napkin like a civilized person would do, she starts licking it clean. A napkin is placed in front of her face and she sheepishly grins at Lena, who returns the grin with an added eyebrow raise.

That raised eyebrow. Supergirl can’t move her body. It’s like Lena’s eyebrows have special powers of their own. Was she actually Medusa? Is this how she dies?

“Supergirl?” she hears in the distance. Lena repeats herself, a little louder, “Supergirl?”

“Huh? What? Oh, thank you,” Kara takes the napkin and wipes off the last sticky remnants of ice cream.  “Well, I should probably be going. You know how it is – robbers to apprehend, citizens to save.”

Lena nods in agreement and begins walking toward the balcony door. She opens it wide, so Supergirl can make her getaway.

“So, have you heard back from Kara? Did she accept my invitation?”

“Oh, riiiiight. I will get back to you on that, but I’m sure she’ll be thrilled to be your date.”

Lena smiles and waves as Supergirl takes off.

“She _still_ wants to take Kara? After I got her ice cream? I don’t understand women. At. All.” Supergirl continues the conversation with herself as she flies back to her apartment. She zips off to change into her Kara clothes and comes back. She stares at the receiver of her house phone as it mocks her with a green blinking light, telling her that it’s charging. It’s charged and ready to be used to call Lena. Ready to go. Kara sighs and grabs the phone quickly, pushing the speed dial for Lena’s office.

(Every speed dial button is set to Lena’s office.)

“Hello?” Lena’s silky smooth voice answers. Kara feels herself melting into the floor.

“Um, Lena, hi. I heard you wanted to talk to me about a party next week,” Kara says, adjusting her glasses nervously.

“Yes! I’m so glad you called. I don’t know if Supergirl explained what it is, but I’m getting an award next Friday and was hoping you’d accompany me. No pressure.”

All the pressure.

“That sounds great,” Kara says enthusiastically, gripping the phone receiver with both hands. She hears the plastic cracking and immediately loosens her grip.

“All right, I’ll be there at 7:00. See you then!”

Kara laughs nervously and then her face falls. “Crap.” She rushes to her closet to try and find something to wear.

* * *

Friday comes around and Kara is pacing so much around her apartment that the floor is starting to form an indentation of her circuit. At 7:00 on the dot, there’s a knock at the door. Kara opens it and sees Lena standing there in a long, black, trench coat. Underneath is a tight, royal blue, dress and Kara stares with her mouth wide open.

“I… you… so pretty.”

Lena smiles. “Thank you, Kara. You look very nice, as well. Are you ready to go?”

Kara nods and Lena escorts her to the car, which is a black Mercedes Benz S-Class Maybach. Cha-ching. The leather interior is so soft and it feels like a warm hug on your bottom. Lena’s driver takes them to the location of the party. It’s lit up like a Christmas tree and some of the company employees are already there, having complimentary drinks at the bar.

Kara exits the car first and holds out her hand for Lena to take as she also steps out of the car. They walk toward the party and Lena begins introducing Kara to all of the guests. Kara politely shakes their hands and says hello. She quietly excuses herself under the guise that she’s getting the both of them drinks from the bar.

“Ms. Luthor,” a voice behind Lena says. She turns around to see Supergirl standing there. She looks different. Is she wearing make-up? Supergirl rubs her eye and smears mascara all over her face.

She’s definitely wearing make-up.

“Supergirl, what a surprise. You wouldn’t be checking up on me, would you?”

Supergirl scoffs. “What, me? Check up on you? Of course not. I was just, uh, in the neighborhood… again. What a completely random happenstance. Where did Kara go? She already ditched you? Boy, some date she turned out to be.”

Lena studies Supergirl’s face for a while, imagining what it must be like to have such perfect hair. Seriously, her hair holds its curls all day and all night. How does that even happen? Supergirl shifts her eyes from side to side, wondering why Lena is staring at her.

“Kara,” Lena says, “I know.”

Supergirl laughs nervously. “What? My name isn’t Kara, it’s Supergirl. How much have you had to drink tonight, Ms. Luthor?”

“I haven’t had anything to drink tonight. I know you’re Kara Danvers.”

“B-b-but I hide it so well. I have the glasses! And the clothes! And completely different personalities! There’s no way you could know I’m Kara. Who told you? Are you spying on me? Are there cameras in my apartment?” She leans in closely, “Have you seen me shower? I swear my singing voice is better than that.” Lena takes a step closer to Kara. They can barely feel each other’s breath on their faces.

Lena smiles warmly and brings a hand up to Kara’s cheek. She strokes it delicately and it makes Kara’s face turn the color of her cape.

“Here, I’ll prove it.” Lena leans in and kisses Super-Kara gently on the lips. They taste like strawberry lipgloss, because of course that’s what Kara would use. Kara lets out a shaky breath.

“Golly.”

Lena chuckles and moves her mouth to Kara’s ear. She whispers to Kara to take her to the stars and while Kara is unsure whether or not that’s a euphemism. Apparently, she’s never seen Titanic. She carries Lena in her arms and lifts off into the air.

Lena’s assistant accepts the award on her behalf and apologizes for her boss’ sudden departure. She blames it on some bad potstickers that were being served. As the assistant looks up in the sky, fireworks are shooting left and right. She sees Kara and Lena floating in the air, sharing another kiss. Another firework pops behind them and explodes into a giant red heart like some kind of 1990s rom-com, but, unsurprisingly, it’s a pretty perfect ending to the night.


End file.
